When you get old, like me, your friends start to die off, like mine are dying. Eight years ago, my very best friend of 27 years died. His death was an
aberration...meaning he was just 68 and in good health. One day he felt an unusual pain in his stomach and went to see a doctor the next day(he was a
psychiatrist and I a psychologist and we met when we both worked at the University in the same department) I received a call from him telling me he had
Pancreatic Cancer that had spread to his liver. I said I would come immediately( I live half each year in Norway) he said, you don't have to do that, come
for Christmas(which was still 4 months away) He was lying, he knew. I didn't, so I looked it up online and it said he would live for 30 more days. I called
a doctor at the local clinic and told him the situation and the doctor said , 30 days. I flew back to America that next week. My dear friend died 30 days from
the day of diagnosis. I gave the eulogy to a very large crowd.
Three years ago the second of my very dear friends was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and she died about 8 months later. She was 71 and it was still an aberration.
In the last 6 months two of fellow high school graduates, died. I realized that the death of my classmates are not aberrations any more, they are the natural course of things for people our age(middle 70s this year). We have lived almost the full length of our expected lifespan (77) and I expect many more of my classmates(more than 350 in the graduating class) will soon be dying off, which could include me of course, as it should. \
The point of all this is, the experience of losing people you care for earlier that expected, as compared to losing them when they should be dying...is really is a different experience. The loss one feels is less with the expected...and there is little grieving , cause after all, thats what happens when we get old. And we do know that it won't be all that long before most of our friends or we, are dead and we know we are not losing friends for a lifetime, cause we don't have a lifetime left.
I find it all kind of fascinating.
P.S. These are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the better schools in America LOLLLOLOLOLLL
Three years ago the second of my very dear friends was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and she died about 8 months later. She was 71 and it was still an aberration.
In the last 6 months two of fellow high school graduates, died. I realized that the death of my classmates are not aberrations any more, they are the natural course of things for people our age(middle 70s this year). We have lived almost the full length of our expected lifespan (77) and I expect many more of my classmates(more than 350 in the graduating class) will soon be dying off, which could include me of course, as it should. \
The point of all this is, the experience of losing people you care for earlier that expected, as compared to losing them when they should be dying...is really is a different experience. The loss one feels is less with the expected...and there is little grieving , cause after all, thats what happens when we get old. And we do know that it won't be all that long before most of our friends or we, are dead and we know we are not losing friends for a lifetime, cause we don't have a lifetime left.
I find it all kind of fascinating.
P.S. These are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the better schools in America LOLLLOLOLOLLL
