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Real first name: Paul
Age: 44
Place of Residence: MD
Occupation: Police Officer

Favorite animal? Dog

Favorite color? Purple, like my home team The Baltimore Ravens

How many times do you shower in a week? Depends on how many complaints I get

Favorite shootout in a film? This dude cut infront of me at the concession stand and that was my favorite gun fight this week

Favorite DC superhero? Batman

Favorite Marvel superhero? Spiderman

Buffy or Angel? don't get mad but I didn't watch those shows, I watched Charmed instead

Favorite scene of bestiality in a film? I shy away from that kind of thing but I have always wondered why the word started with best instead of beast. I think someone should keep an eye on the Websters dude.

Favorite type of cheese? Sharp cheddar

What twelve people would you kill if you could without fear of retribution of any kind? Why only 12?

46 or 32? elephant

Cat VS. Monkey? I didn't know they were getting a divorce. That's sad but at least they didn't have any kids.

9th favorite Italian Aquatic Nazi Zombie movie from 1981 in which Zombies rise from a Lake and drink peoples blood that stars Howard Vernon as a Mayor and features a zombie knife fight. I didn't see that one

If you could mentally control any type of animal which animal would you choose? What do you mean if? You are under my control, send me your X box 360 and all your games. If you don't have an X Box 360 then go buy me one.

Favorite band that was active in the 60s with the first letter of their name U and the last letter Z? That's easier than finding Waldo in a white room. Why Uncle Pez of course

If a bear was going to eat a baby would you step in to try to save it even though your would surely be mauled to death? A baby what?

Do you like Bears? As long as they keep their mitts off my picnic basket

Whats your favorite type of bear? The kind that leaves my picnic basket alone

If a bear killed you would you still like bears? As long as he didn't touch my picnic basket I'd be inclined to forgive him

If a bear killed your children would you still like bears? I don't have any kids but if one killed my dogs that particular bear would be a rug onto which I would place my picnic basket

If not, why? If you have a knot in your y then I guess you won't be having any kids either.

If a bear was really hot, hotter than any human alive, and it consented, would you have sex with it? even though you'd technically be having sex with a bear? No because it sounds like a setup to me. Next thing you know I'm on You Tube having sex with a bear.

Favorite mode of transportation? Flights of fancy

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My uncle
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Friday
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING. Except when I'm writing out the bills
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Smoked Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? The four legged kind
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? What an interesting question, truly fascinating
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Again with the shoes. Listen buddy I'm trying not to tell you to go f**k yourself but you're making it very hard.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pizza
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? click, click,click,click
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? This has racial overtones to it that I'm not comfortable discussing and shame on you sir for posting the question.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? bacon, gasoline and grape jello
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Some moron asking me if I wanted to save money on my phone bill. I told him that he was wasting my money now and promptly hung up on him
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Clearly I don't, you shoe wearing bastard
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football but only if the Ravens are playing
27. HAIR COLOR? brown and gray
28. EYE COLOR? hazel
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Well there was this cute receptionist I wouldn't mind...nevermind
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Mexican and Chinese
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? What now I can't get a handjob while watching a scary movie? Who the hell made you Mr Usher with your shiny flashlight and stupid red vest?
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Resident Evil Extinction
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Are you coming on to me because I told you I don't roll like that
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? It depends. If it's cold outside it's probably winter. Not to get too personal but did you get dropped on your head alot as a kid?
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Look buddy do you know what sexual harrassment is. I could report you if you don't stop. I'm not interested
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? See answer to #13
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Well I'm typing now aren't I. Seriously dude, did you eat alot of lead paint chips as a kid
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND This is the last survey from you I'll ever complete
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I'm typing on the computer, not reading. Somebody call 911 for this guy I think he's having a stroke
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? That thing that contols where the cursor on your screen goes. I can't remember it's name though.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Reruns
42. FAVORITE SOUND? What's with all the situational queries? If I was stranded on a deserted island I suppose the approaching horn of my rescue ship. It depends on what is happening at the time and I don't have the inclination to answer further
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? ? Why the two question marks? Are you messing with me because I'm seriously getting %%@#%% off now
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Since you can't be bothered to properly list your questions I ain't answering. Newsflash there is a enter key to properly space the questions.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a hospital like most other people
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Not yours I assure you

That was swell, thanks ever so much for this little slice of heaven

Just joking by the way. Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name