Neighbor asking chicken farmer about the finer points of roast chicken:
do you prepare your chicken?"
"Nothing special, Sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out: 'You're going to die'."
The math teacher introduces a word problem to the students:
There are 3 birds on a wire. The farmer shoots one of them. How many are left? Jody raises his hand and says "None"! The teacher asks him to explain.
Jody says: "When one bird gets shot the other two fly away."
The teacher replies: "That's not the answer we look for in math class, but I like the way you're thinking."
Then Jody asks: "There are 3 women on a bench with popsicles in their hand. One of them is sucking it, one is licking it, and the other is biting it. Which one is married?"
The teacher fumbles, but then recognizes the adolescent mind-set.
"The one sucking it?"
Jody replied: "Actually it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."