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Before we get to the specifics, Dr. Joy Browne says nobody can make you have a tug of war. If you don't want to play, just drop your end of the rope.
I don't know your Dad, but if he insists upon pressing his position upon you, and he gets physically aggressive, ie wanting to stand in front of you and discuss it, you can practice with your husband before hand, to have your husband step in between you and the aggressor (whomever it may be). Then you can put you hand on your husband's back, and push away.
Drilling at this maneuver just a few times can make it go quite well at combat speed.

BUT !!

"I will definitely not initiate a conversation with my father or his wife. And if they push me ..." Ann

Ann,
Please don't make the terrible mistake of thinking of it as a binary.
Your approach here seems to be: it's either my father's way, or my way, period.

It's not that way at all.

We have hierarchys Ann.
And while I don't know, and don't need to know the specific issues between you and your Father, I suggest to you the following.
I've never met your Father. But I've met mine. And while my Father and I may have had our differences, he had his priorities.
Some issues with him may have been more important than others. But more important than those issues was family.
Your Father may not wish to lose an argument.
But I strongly suspect he'd rather lose any argument than lose his daughter.

So if your Father does approach you, do not make the tragic mistake of thinking he simply wants to resume the argument where it was left off.

In fact, he may intend to say to you; I don't care about that; I care about you.
And though you may not recognize the peril, it is important that you allow such hatchet-burying within your family, for YOUR benefit.
First of all, you can bury the hatchet, and still keep your distance; relegate him to your Christmas card list if you wish.
But I suspect you'd only be hurting yourself to do that.

But you should also know, it is a classic blunder known to those that study psychology that those that don't resolve these differences with parents are stuck with them and bedeviled by them once that parent has died. And those that study psychology know that those that learn of this rule think: sure, but that doesn't apply to ME.

It applies to YOU.

So if I were in your situation Ann, I'd be prepared to interrupt your Father if you can tell for certain that he's begun to refight the last argument.
In that case you can tell him; I won't refight that with you. I won't try to change your mind. Please do me the same courtesy by not trying to change mine.

But also be prepared for the possibility that he thinks you're more important than the argument, and that what he really wants is you; not any ridiculous argument.

"The best thing I can do with her is to say hello and politely walk away." Ann

Almost.
If they're both conciliatory, you're home free. You can play it any way you want from there. Warm and fuzzy. Cool and distant. Polite but reserved. Whatever.

But if your Father is conciliatory and step-mom is not, you've got viable options. Among them: dodge her, and explain to your Father:

Father,
I'd be delighted to be on respectful speaking terms w/ you, and your wife.
But she's not my mother. And she seems to think I am obliged to defer to her.

I'm willing to extend to her the appropriate courtesy her superior age entitles her to.
But she would first have to earn that courtesy. And last time I checked, she ... (& then tell him what she does that you don't like).

Then leave it up to him. Either he brings her aboard, or he settles for a solo relationship w/ you.

The world is your oyster Ann. Just don't gag on the pearl.

"I just have strange relatives." Dan

You read me like a dime novel Dan?
I may have 20 living relatives. But only one of them is willing to treat me with the degree of good manners polite strangers have a right to expect from one another at a bus stop.

Dan: it's there loss!

"I always thought I'd have something more to say to them or would try to extricate myself from my parent's mess and re-form some kind of bond with them but when I started talking I realized it wasn't worth the aggravation. I didn't really miss them, I don't feel as if I owe them anything, and I'm not intending on letting them get in the way of the people I really do love ..." SS

It seems to me there's kind of an innate notion that maintaining good family ties is worth it.
But perhaps it's not quite so.