Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?

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sear	Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 53125 (11/30/07 04:53 PM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I've got a friend from whom I've been withholding information. I suspect she would be interested in, but so far I have not mentioned it to her. Should I simply never tell her? If I am to tell her, when should I tell her? How should I tell her? Fumfer indirectly, and hope she gets the hint? Or should I be more direct? "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Burg68	Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#1	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 4526 (11/30/07 05:50 PM) Man that Rode the Steel Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	There are a couple questions. Does it betray a confidence? Would giving that information to another person harm or embarrass someone? As the executive cannot decide the question of war on the affirmative side, neither ought it to do so on the negative side, by preventing the competent body from deliberating on the question. - Thomas Jefferson The executive has no right, in any case, to decide the question, whether there is or is not cause for declaring war. - James Madison
sear	Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#2	[-]
Posts: 53125 (11/30/07 06:05 PM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	*Quote:* "Does it betray a confidence?" Burg Good point. I believe I could convey the information without divulging its source. I would be fairly comfortable about attempting that. *Quote:* "Would giving that information to another person harm or embarrass someone?" Burg You read me like a dime novel Burg. I think the embarrassment at issue is mine. I simply can't explain why I've not already told. That might take some 'splainin'. But if there's any backlash, I probably deserve it. "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Sherezada	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#3	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2480 (11/30/07 07:30 PM) Interpreter Extraordinaire Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	There doesn't seem to be a good reason to not tell. So why not? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Un solo territorio, una sola bandera. Patria libre o morir!
IllinoisBuckeye1	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#4	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 844 (11/30/07 09:15 PM) IB1 can know ya Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Would any good come out of her hearing the information?
aew	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#5	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 7026 (12/01/07 10:04 AM) Ann: eyes that laugh Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	IB1, that's always the main thing to consider, for me. It might make one feel better to get something off his/her chest, but if it's going to hurt the recipient of the secret, I try to keep it to myself. But sear, if you haven't promised someone else you wouldn't tell, and you think this person would want to know, I can't see any reason to keep silent. Just be sure it's not more for YOUR benefit than theirs. Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination - Mark Twain
sear	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#6	[-]
Posts: 53125 (12/01/07 11:10 AM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	IB1's right. The reason to tell is for the benefit of the one being told. My reason for continuing my silence is to dodge the embarrassment of explaining why I haven't already divulged it. The longer I've remained silent, the worse explaining that has become. "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Propaganster	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#7	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2280 (12/01/07 11:37 AM) Citizen From Future Obsolete Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Usually, I find the best time to divulge such information is when a related topic is discussed. It's sort of like that age old question: When should you tell a child that he was adopted? It's probably best to do so when the child mentions adoption. ~Are you the kind that just can't take a hint? Then do the next best thing and just take a hike!~
SouthernLadie	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#8	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 654 (12/01/07 12:11 PM) Mom of Zurin Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Does she need to know? Would it hurt her? If the answer no to the first and yes to the second....then it needs not to be shared. "If it has tires or testicles...you are gonna have trouble with it."
sear	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#9	[-]
Posts: 53125 (12/01/07 12:24 PM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	*Quote:* "Usually, I find the best time to divulge such information is when a related topic is discussed." Pro I think that's what happened. I waited until the time was right, and the time never came. And now, it's almost as if I've been keeping it from her. SL, You're right. But I hope it's not a hurtful disclosure. I might expect her reaction to be more akin to: Why didn't I think of that!? "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Grace06	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#10	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 26490 (12/01/07 01:00 PM) Earth Spirit Administrator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Her reaction is more or less why didn't think of that? Sounds like it may all be innocent? I believe it depends on how you really feel about the friend? 'Will it really upset her or will she see it in maybe a different light'? While we are at it I too have a problem. I thought I had fixed it by telling the truth. (It was an innocent mistake) It has kind of backfired on me. Me being Sorry seemed not to have meant anything? suggestions? Oh Six "Only when the last tree is cut; only when the last river is polluted; only when the last fish is caught; only then will they realize that you cannot eat money." Proverb-Cree
sear	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#11	[-]
Posts: 53125 (12/01/07 01:13 PM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	*Quote:* "'Will it really upset her or will she see it in maybe a different light'?" Grace Your guess is as good as mine Grace. I would think if she was me, she'd be interested to know. But I don't get women, so I could be weigh wrong. "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
aew	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#12	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 7026 (12/01/07 01:14 PM) Ann: eyes that laugh Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	sear, sounds like you're just going to have to bring it up, get it out and move on. Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination - Mark Twain
sear	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#13	[-]
Posts: 53125 (12/01/07 01:28 PM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Alright Ann. I imagine you're right. ---------------------------------------------- OK ------------- Grace, I know you've been a fan of the hit TV series House for a while. I thought you might be interested to know about the origin / inspiration for the character named Dr. Gregory House. Author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle attended medical school, and became a medical doctor. In medical school, one of Doyle's instructors was named Doctor Bell. Not only was Dr. Bell a superb medical diagnostician. He was also able to deduce such things as the patient's home, and line of work, by detecting subtle clues like callouses on hands, etc. Thus, Dr. Bell was the inspiration for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character Sherlock Holmes. And in turn, Sherlock Holmes (and Dr. Bell which inspired the character) were the inspiration for the hit TV series House. In addition to the most obvious similarities of logical deduction based upon subtle clues, common to both Holmes and House: - Holmes (homes) and House are nearly synonyms (a house can be a home). - Holmes' sidekick was named Watson. House's sidekick is named Wilson. - Both Holmes and House are musicians. - Both Holmes and House have substance abuse problems. - And perhaps both Holmes' and House's residence may even have the same numerical address. The creators of the TV series acknowledge openly the source of inspiration for their successful series. I would like to thank the contributors to this thread for giving me the courage necessary to divulge this too long held information. "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Grace06	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#14	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 26490 (12/01/07 01:54 PM) Earth Spirit Administrator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	sear, I do believe you should be very very afraid. Don't expect me to help you either. Interesting bit of news 'in reality' however bears the resemblance of the 'boy that cried Wolf too many times' Here we all were to help you, and although answered, not something most of us were expecting. OH Six "Only when the last tree is cut; only when the last river is polluted; only when the last fish is caught; only then will they realize that you cannot eat money." Proverb-Cree
Propaganster	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#15	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2280 (12/01/07 03:36 PM) Citizen From Future Obsolete Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	So Grace... how much of a different light do you see sear with now? You're still friends, right? ~Are you the kind that just can't take a hint? Then do the next best thing and just take a hike!~
aew	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#16	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 7026 (12/01/07 04:28 PM) Ann: eyes that laugh Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Good job, sear. You got us to fall for that one. Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination - Mark Twain
Sherezada	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#17	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2480 (12/02/07 02:53 AM) Interpreter Extraordinaire Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Witty, but dishonest. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Un solo territorio, una sola bandera. Patria libre o morir!
Tronport	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#18	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2867 (12/02/07 04:57 AM) Bildung Pusher Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	"Dishonest" would not be the correct term, but "deceptive" might be more accurate. I think that perhaps this thread may have been better off if opened @Light instead of @Heavy, so that it was not initially taken quite so seriously. The subject seemed much more sinister than it turned out to be, but it could have played out differently. Strictly speaking Sear was not dishonest, but did allow peoples imaginations to run unchecked, perhaps with even a bit of encouragement by him towards that end. It does demonstrate the extremes that peoples assumptions can lead to if given the opportunity. All the more reason not to keep any secrets that are not absolutely better off left unsaid. No harm, no foul, in this case imo. Science is not a Religion. It just seems that way sometimes.
sear	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#19	[-]
Posts: 53125 (12/02/07 10:20 AM) CoAdmin.w/Grace06 Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I'm with you guys; it was a real fizzle. I apologize. I had hoped that it would build: a) moral / ethical insight b) tension & intrigue Further, I hoped it might tease Grace a little, perhaps leading her to think I had kept a secret from her. I obviously blue this one. "... what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents." Robert Kennedy
Macaroo	Re: Ethics: I've kept a secret. Should I tell?	#20	[-]
Full-Fledged Member Posts: 2886 (12/02/07 11:11 AM) Magnificent Mac Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	*Quote:* The creators of the TV series acknowledge openly the source of inspiration for their successful series. I didn't know that. Thanks, sear. Incidentally, I think the fact that Dr. House's crew always breaks into somebody's house to look for clues to an illness is a kind of running joke. I could be wrong, though. Mac

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